Sunday, 15 June 2008

Maximise Your Chances of Being a Pro Golfer

Not that we have too much time on our hands these days, we have perused our database of over 2000 golfers to come up with the following (fun) analysis of what will maximise your (or your son's) chances of living the dream life of a tournament golf professional!

First off, it is very important to be American. If you aren't, consider applying for a green card with a view to citizenship down the line. If you are pushing on a bit yourself, consider waiting for the Champions Tour before turning pro. If you want to steer your young son down the golf pro path, it is important that you uproot your family and head for the land of the free NOW! Alternatively, if you are planning to have a family in the future, emigrating to the US first would be a good idea.

Your name should be John or David (or some variant thereof). If not, head for the local court straight away and change it by deed poll. You might not have to if you are named James, Robert, Andrew or Richard as those names are unsurprisingly popular also. Despite the American influence among the pro ranks, fortunately it is not necessary to call yourself Chip, Brad or Hank.

Interestingly, there are a huge variety of surnames, so you can probably keep your own. Changing it to Woods though has obvious intimidatory value on future competitors. If you really want the final edge, change your surname (if necessary) to Lee or Johnson, the only really common names I could find in my non-exhaustive search of our system. The former obviously gives Asians a distinct advantage, although the Lees in the database are from all over the world. Those who are really determined to make it as a pro should consider a double barrel appellation of Johnson-Lee!!

No comments: